At the end of tomorrow, my birthday, I will have finished my first three weeks at my new job. I reflect about things every day, but this feels like an appropriate time to document my thoughts about all the change in my life.
First and foremost, I love my job. I love the company I am working for and the culture there. I am pleasantly surprised daily about how my education has prepared me for managing the complicated systems and specific details of my day-to-day responsibilities. I love that my department and my manager have confidence in my abilities and patience as I surf the learning curve.
I looked around the office my first week or so and looked at the items people had on and around their desks and offices. So far, this picture shows what I have decided to bring to and leave at work. I could bring photographs, but bringing paintings of my critters tells people a little more about me than snapshots would. I am working on a way to display paintings or sketches of Lys and Wilson to compliment the two pieces I have there.
Most days I get home from work and make sure everyone is fed, walked and fauned over to the best of my ability. When sit down, I read a few blogs. Most of the blogs I read regularly depict the lives of people I admire and sometimes envy. Some are purely for entertainment, but the lifestyle blogs are the ones that inspire me and cause me to examine my own life carefully and thoughtfully.
Recently I have shared with friends that I can separate what I do for a living and my life - people have been doing that, successfully and otherwise, for years. It's true - I can learn this new industry, work hard when I am at work, then come home to what matters to me personally. I'm getting more used to my new routine, and I have permission not to check my business email and voicemail from home.
While it would be great to try to carve out a life as an artist, I know that by having a career I can make a living then come home and paint and play with my dogs and cats. Working, for now at least, will allow me to pay my bills, buy a new car (nothing fancy, but a great treat to me), buy good pet food and art supplies, and maybe put something away in case I ever have room for a donkey. Don't laugh. I want a donkey. Maybe I'll need two, or maybe the one donkey will need a second.
As long as I am able to work, and I am happy doing it, I see no need to daydream about something that's not an option yet. I haven't given up on things that could happen in an ideal world, or if I won the lottery, I have just put it in perspective for the time being. This type of thinking will inform my work as an artist, and that has to be a good thing.
Finally, I won't lose sight of the desperation I felt in July and August of this year. It puts a knot in my stomach just thinking about it now. Who knows what the future holds, so I will be grateful for today, remember the lessons I learned yesterday and look forward to the triumphs and challenges in my future.
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