She Walked Away

Finally!

There are no words to describe my relief and to express my excitement to share with you that

I HAVE A NEW JOB!

If you check my previous post, you'll see that I interviewed this morning for a job far outside the description of anything I ever imagined myself doing. I start my new job on September 10th, so I have work to do in preparation. I won't post details until after I have started and have a feel for the day-to-day responsibilities.

My dogs and my cats can rest easy that their food supply will not be broken. They can trust me when I tell them that they are - as they should be - meant to be with me to live out their natural lives.

5 years of art school and 2 years of graduate school. 9 months of job searching. I have learned to live on very little income and my job might change that for the better. I plan to get a handle on my finances and my house, look into a new car by the first of the year, and put money aside. It's not that I'll be making obscene amounts of money - far from it - but reliable income will be a very welcome change.

One extravangance that might not wait though, is a new pair of shoes. 40 hours a week not working in the arts or in a library (or even academia), would be much more enjoyable with happy feet. My feet will be happy in these:

I'll wait as long as I can.

It's not me, it's them...

This week I got two definitive rejections from two potential employers. One was a library job (sort of) and I was actually relieved not to get an offer. The place looked like a snoot-ified pressure cooker, and I had more than mulled over taking that job and being miserable until I could find a better one.

The second rejection came late today from a company that fell outside the description of anything I imagined myself doing for a living. That company consisted of lots of busy, happy people who seemed really content to be working. I was confident I could do the job - Renaissance Woman that I am - but I was really attracted to the environment and looked forward to an offer. I was really disappointed to be turned down.

This past Monday, I attended an orientation session to substitute teach for a school district. It's an option - not an attractive one - to keep me under a roof that's not my car for a while, but I'm very worried.

This coming Monday I have an interview for another job that I never imagined myself doing. I find the job description interesting, and one that I can quickly learn and do well. It is another opportunity to pay the bills, but would allow me to still have a life and be able to paint and relax when I am not at work.

I'm okay with work being work and my life being my life. One makes the other possible. Wish me luck. I need to be able to keep the critters fed, and I am hopeful about Monday. I have delayed applying for my substitute teaching license and required background check (I would need to sub a day or two just to break even on that investment, actually, but it would cover me for subbing in two different school districts) until after my interview Monday.

I'll be painting in the morning tomorrow with the phone off. I plan to meet my parents in the afternoon for a movie and dinner. Sunday I plan to clear out the front porch as studio space for winter painting. I can't make any investment in materials, so it's just going to get a purge and a scrub for now. Hopefully, I will be working soon, and I hope to set aside something every month to invest in converting my garage to a studio by spring or summer. I had dreamt of that before, but never imagined a job search to be heading into month 9 with no offers.

Every no gets me closer to a yes. That's my story for now, anyway.

pictures

I have some pictures in my head this morning.

This image is from the documentary "Other People's Pictures" that I watched while having my coffee today. When I saw it in the film, I immediately thought that it looked like my grandfather. I have some pictures of my grandfather with bicycles, so it's not too much of a stretch. This image alone has convinced me to search for one photograph in particular - one of my grandfather with my dad in the basket on the front of the bicycle. I can see it in my head, but I haven't had it in my hand for quite some time. I'll wait until tonight, after I walk the dogs, then I will find it.

I have always loved documentaries, and this film is no exception. I'll be thinking about it for some time - pictures, family snapshots, backstory.

There is a part of this film that describes people who collect altered or mutilated snapshots. When I was 13 or 14 years old, I remember that my sister had gone to work with my dad on a Saturday. My dad worked as a hairdresser in the front of his business on Saturday mornings, then had lunch and worked on Saturday afternoons in his bike shop in the same building. This Saturday, while my dad was working in the bike shop, my sister had gone back to the salon to entertain herself. When my dad had a moment to check on her, he found her with his hair scissors, chopping up all the pictures of me that were taped to the inside of his cabinet door. She had very precisely cut only my image from pictures of all of us siblings, and shredded the pictures of me alone. The tape remained.

Sure, I laugh about it now, but that is seriously disturbing.

 

Today's Meds

 

If you don't like this, well, I just don't know what to tell you. This is also an homage to my cousin, Bart.

Back to the Brush

I put my meltdown on hold for the day and decided to paint. I can't show what I am working on here, as it is an award for the top fund-raiser for my local Humane Society. I have mentioned before that I volunteer for the shelter where I got Wilson and Parker, and this painting is one of the things I do for them.

I was painting outside with the house opened up as we are experiencing some gorgeous weather. It's supposed to heat up later today, but sleeping with a fan in the window and dragging fresh air into the house all morning rank right up there with the best parts of life. I heard my phone ringing at one point and considered darting in to answer it - but I thought better of that. It's a tough call when you're desperately looking for a job, but I rely on technology - including voicemail - to avoid missing the right call. Turns out that call was from a recruiter for a life insurance agency. It seems that is one job everyone seems to think I should try. I get voicemail and email about insurance almost daily. No thanks. I would sooner stick a needle in my eye.

 

 

Sink or swim

I'll admit that I am sinking.

I posted last week about my struggles to find a job - any job - after completing my master's degree. I stand by what I wrote, but I took it down because it made me angry just to look at it. I completely regret graduate school. I am saddled with debt that I will never be able to repay. I have an advanced degree that is not taken seriously, and I am being overlooked for even entry-level jobs because I have that degree. I will need to negotiate and barter just to get my loan payments to a reasonable amount - and that's IF I get a job.

That's a really big if.

I've had well-meaning friends encourage me not to give up, and while I appreciate that they likely don't know what to say, I wish to reassure them that giving up is not an option. If for no other reason, I have four little mouths to feed other than my own, and I'll move into my car and mow people's lawns before I fail to feed them.

I'm losing it, there's little doubt about that, but I am treading water as I prepare to take off again. I will likely be quiet here for a while, but there is something cathartic about letting it all out every once in a while.

 

 

 

 

Bad News Monday

Be careful what you wish for, they say. I desperately wanted to hear something about the interview I had a while ago for a fellowship. I did, and they passed.

Pardon me, I think I am going to throw up.

 

 

Question for the Weather Man

Why is it that when I have an interview, the temperatures always top 100 degrees?

That is all.