She Walked Away

Janis channels Bessie.

Having Trouble

Things aren't going so well for Lois. Since mid-December I have applied for nearly 100 jobs. I have yet to have even one interview. I hope, at least, someone will make a colorful chalk outline of me when I finally hit the ground for good.

No one is more determined than I am - it's doubtful that anyone is more creative than I am. I've written and called people and met with decision makers about networking and job opportunities. I have volunteered for events knowing that you never know who will notice you if you're giving when you need the most help yourself.

On Library School: I completely regret the investment I made of time, effort and money for graduate school. I am aggravated that my graduate program was not more forthcoming about employment prospects or even placement assistance. I have asked faculty members for recommendations. I get no response from them, even after having earned high grades based on their syllabi. I have already lost touch with fellow students who have been on vacation since graduation. Their invitations to go out for drinks have stopped.

I have maybe a month before I will have to look at public assistance - and I am humiliated beyond description to admit that. I am considering surrendering my pets and I can hardly breathe when I even start thinking about it. I'm nearly always nauseated.

I have networked. I worked up to three jobs at a time while I put myself through school. I came home and did the dishes, I mowed my own yard, shoveled my own snow, fixed my own car... I chopped down trees that fell on my house, I fixed the hot water heater. I re-plumbed the bathroom.I have no cable (though that's not a sacrifice), I drive a car that is 23 years old. I cut my own hair. I haven't had a vacation for over 15 years.

I've become a social pariah. I can't blame anyone for not wanting to spend time with me. My entertainment consists of long walks or drinking iced tea these days.

A very dear friend of mine told me that she thought many of my friends just don't understand my situation. She said that on the surface I appear busy and capable. I hope she's right.

I turned off facebook - I've come to believe that it's a lie and, like Betty White said, "A giant waste of time."

I haven't given up. I am trying to stay positive, but please don't suggest that to me. I'm not given to violence, but the next person who tells me to stay positive or to get a job at Starbucks is likely to get a roundhouse to the throat.

 

Walking at Midnight

Not exactly midnight, but at 10:00 pm, it is time to take the dogs for a walk. They would love it any time, in any weather, but it's much more pleasant without the sun beating down on us. Both of them have a significant percentage of black in their coats. This is best for all of us.

 

Friday Blues

I have been having Friday Blues this summer. If it's after 5:00 on a Friday afternoon and I have no job and no interviews scheduled, I generally face a weekend of disappointment. Add to the doom I could feel about not being able to pay my mortgage or electric bill, I am also a bit of a social pariah - who wants to invite someone who always declines to do anything? I beg friends to invite me over for a cup of tea. I'll bring the tea. Meet me at my house and we'll walk my dogs until they're good and pooped. Come over and I'll draw a picture of you. Lots of ways to get together - wish it didn't always seem to cost money.

I have made some progress networking. I have two appointments next week that may not be job interviews, but they're great contacts. I applied for three different jobs this week that I was aware of before the postings went up. I had already met with two of the decision-makers to determine my follow-up protocols. In this regard, I am not shy. The squeaky wheel.

Planning to paint has occupied my time this week, too. I have an art event tomorrow afternoon and my 30 Pets in 30 Days painting project in July. Preparations are well under way. There will be no canvas or paper stretching in July, just painting. Every. Day.

I won't be painting tiny little paintings like this one of Sam the Boston Terrier. Instead, I am painting larger (but still small) paintings of dogs, some cats, at least one bunny and some horses.

Murphy's Law: Schedule myself to be busy and I'll get even busier. Busy is a great thing, too. Better medicine than any anti-depressant. Great advice:

 

Wait... is this a dog blog??

I may not be working yet, but I am still a librarian.

I have been networking and making progress. The proof is in the pudding, they say, so progress will be measured by my first paycheck and that still seems a long way off.

In the meantime, I am taking pictures of my dogs and really thinking about them and the impact they have on my life.

This one is always ready to soak up any attention I give her, and she's equally prepared to climb up and snuggle if necessary.

Wilson is indicating that he's not a fan of the fireworks already this season. I should be careful referring to fireworks season because, as I have mentioned before, it seems to be all year.

Take a look at my new project and please consider participating. Details and instructions are here. No purchase necessary. I need lots of critter images for the project to be successful.

Not really a dog blog, this. I will get things sorted out sooner or later.

No news is not necessarily good news...

On the topic of employment (or lack thereof):